An easy guide to star signs!

What is a star sign? Some of you less enlightened people may be afraid to ask in fear of sounding stupid, but it is a completely valid question. I will attempt to create a beginners guide of sorts for those of you who are keen to learn.

Firstly a definition will be useful. What is a star sign? It is a gigantic pile of festering manure, a complete waste of time and brainpower, absolute gobbledygook.

If you truly believe that you can accurately judge a persons character, personality traits and predict the future based off of how the stars were aligned when they were born, you either need to put down the bong, or are on some sort of mental disability spectrum. Harsh but true.

But whenever I read my horoscope it comes true! That’s because its been written by people who understand how to write a generalised statement that can fit to almost anyone. Don’t believe me? Try reading some of the other horoscopes for a while and see if you feel like they’ve come true as well.

Now the absolute worst part of this utter rubbish is categorising people by their star sign. It’s a telling sign that someone who does this has very little brainpower. Instead of basing their opinions off simply meeting the person, they ask for a star sign and believe that’s all they need to know. Simply astounding. Some choice phrases you may hear from people like this;

“OMG don’t trust a Leo!”

“I never date Scorpio’s”

“I’m a Capricorn and you’re a Aries, this probably isn’t going to work out”

“I’m retarded!”

Its not only stupid and irrational, its downright prejudice to make judgments on people simply when they are born. Now I understand horoscopes can be a bit of fun and can be embraced for simply entertainment values, and that’s fine. But leave it there. Don’t get tattoos of your star sign; don’t base relationships on star sign, don’t judge people based on their star sign and most of all, don’t try and ram all this completely useless information down strangers throats. They probably don’t care.

But hey! Who am I to tell you what to do? If you want to continue pissing in the shallow end of the gene pool, you go right ahead!

Don’t even get me started on fucking tarot cards.